Monday, November 2, 2015

Legal Victory and Broken Cocces. Cocci. Coccyxes. Whatever. -- November 2, 2015

Hello, all! Time is short and we have souls to save

! Allow me to tell the tale of how I got my green card!

So this last week, Elder Walters and I had to do an intercambio (companionship exchange) because as of September 24, we were both illegal immigrants. Now, it's not really because we're afraid of getting deported or anything (one of Elder Polanco and my's investigators who's a cop was like, "Yeah, you guys are missionaries. The police force couldn't care less about you.") but the mission's very into "following laws" and "not incurring criminal charges" so we did it. Elder Walters and I had some extremely important business to talk about, such as the best flavor of Mountain Dew and the preferred hour for an after-midnight Beto's run, and we ended up staying up a wee bit late. By the time we'd slept through our alarm, we had only twenty minutes to get up, get ready, get dressed, and get on the bus. We threw everything on and sprinted to the bus stop. The bus was nearly full, so without really being too choosy, I just went up to the front where the fellow directed me and Elder Walters was seated near the door. The bus set out and off we went. 

Well, about five minutes in, I started to hear regular grunts that coincided with every bump in the road. Well that's odd. So I looked back, and there's Elder Walters, his elbows crammed into his right armpit, a look of pure squashed anguish on his face, sitting next to the largest woman I had ever seen in my life. I say with total impartiality and love that if this woman fell into the ocean, a passing pod of sperm whales would be like, "Dorothy! We thought you were dead!" And it just so happened that in the process of having his pelvis compacted into a quantum existentiality, a rigid steel bar in the seat was jammed right into his. Er. Coccyx. Suffice it to say that for the rest of the day, Elder Walters was the butt of many jokes.

But we are once again legal law-abiding citizens! Sorry for the ever short epistles! Life's rugged in the campo. Hit it hard and keep moving forward.


P.S. The word "coccyx" is GOLD when you're playing hangman.

P.P.S. Yes. That is a photo of me ripping pantyhose in half with my teeth. The crap I do for this zone.....
District leader bites stocking

No comments:

Post a Comment