Monday, April 27, 2015

Fresh Faces and Worrisome Worries April 27, 2015

P-Day! It's a time to indulge! A day where you can go to MegaCentro and eat enough Taco Bell to feed a small country in Africa. At first, you feel good because hey, Taco Bell. Then, about 20 minutes later, you feel like you've been run over by a train because hey, Taco Bell. Not to mention you spent all your apoyo on cheap, mass-produced Mexican food and now have to walk home. Such is the pleasure- and the pain- of P-Day. One down, five to go. Transfer six be flyin'.

Me and Zetina -- The Last Good Day
My new companion is a microscopic Guatemalan named Elder Ventura. He's a nice kid! He's certainly got his own unique characteristics. Firstly, he's utterly unflappable. Like. One night we were up on the roof enjoying ourselves a 9:30 campfire. We were chatting amiably in the glow of the flames when I accidentally kicked over his bottle of hand sanitizer and lit his socks on fire. He didn't yelp. Didn't even flinch. He just calmly took his socks off, tossed them to the side, and watched them smolder. He never said a word, either to me or to the generic nobody that I swear at when one of my articles of clothing is, you know, on fire. So there's that. Also, he
Ventura and me hunting
for a fine Cabernet...
literally showers three times a day. And when I say literally, I don't mean it in the sense that a baby panda is so cute that you literally died or that an emotional connection on The Bachelor was so deep and profound that some understandably single woman's head literally exploded. 
I mean he seriously showers every day before personal study, during lunch, and after daily planning. On the plus side, he loves to clean, which is a problem I haven't had to handle with any of my other companions. Although he also does this thing where he sustains all of his s's when he talks. It's not supes weird! It's just sometimes a little disconcerting when I'm not sure if my companion is speaking Spanish or Parseltongue. Naw, he's way cool, and I'm excited for this transfer! Also, with the other elders gone, we moved to the big room and best believe we put their old fridge in here. You already know that this is a thing.

We're getting to know the B Area a lot quicker than I thought! Okay, to be fair, our knowledge is wholly and completely flawed, but hey- we teach!

So I went to district meeting and what did I see? The old MTC district is back together again! Or at least. The elders. In our mission. Yeah. Right. Anyhow, I was already here in Hainamosa (Hainamosa is the zone- Los Solares is my area), Blount got transferred in from Sabana Grande and who should his companion be but Elder freakin' Zanahoria. Zamora. Sorry. Yes. Zamora. Blount's still his same old Southern Baptist Mormon self ("...Y'all need Jesus.") and Zamora's here six months later. Still loving him some Texas. Still talking about his girl who's a friend. As the ever-wise Elder Barlow once so sagely noted, "Johnson, do you know what the difference between a deacon with a girlfriend and a missionary with a girlfriend is? NOTHING." Poor Zamora. They are the two great chagrins of this young Texan's life- That his girlfriend is probably only sort of kinda waiting and the fact that Alaska exists. Gyaha district meetings are gonna be a blast.
Which one doesn't match? 

We have a curse here in Los Solares. We have like five or six different investigators who are begging to be baptized. Now, that's awesome. Fantastic! It really is. But. Every. Single. One. Is below the age of fourteen. And y'all gotta understand. Normally, we don't like to baptize children if the parents aren't members. They rarely stay active and no one wants to be a "bautiniƱos" anyway. But right there's the problem. With every one of said investigators. Their parents aren't members. Even if they're progressing. Even if they believe the message. But they can't be baptized. Because they're not married. My great lozzy, it is the bane of my existence. You are about as likely to find a married couple outside the church here as you are to find Harry Truman at a Communist rave. And that would be quite the twist, because although my history knowledge is admittedly flawed, I'm fairly certain that Harry Truman is dead. But seriously. No one. NO ONE. Is married. It kills me! Ah! But life goes on.

Speaking of which, this last week, I've been seriously considering worrying. No, no, I haven't been contemplating actually doing it, silly people, rather that I was reflecting on the act itself. Worrying is something that we all do from time to time. Now, obviously things come up in life. We have to face problems and sometimes, we even have to- heaven forbid- make decisions. These things can be stressful. They feel like a big deal. I know. I've been there. You folks know that historically speaking, I'm kinda a worrier. But the solution to overcoming whatever worry is actually pretty easy. Let's take a few examples:

-What am I gonna do as a career for the rest of my life?
-Who cares? Pick something you love that'll give you purpose in life and do it.

-What happens if I try to kiss the girl but she doesn't want it and rejects me?
-Shut up. Kiss her.

-In college, can the human body really keep functioning on ramen noodles alone?
-Yes, but it's not recommended.

-With said diet, will I still get scurvy as long as I drink 7-Up?
-Contrary to popular belief, the lemon and lime flavoring in 7-Up is not actually lemon or lime. You should probably rethink your dietary habits.

We could go on. Those are just a couple, and they are admittedly targeted to my current demographic. Nonetheless, regardless of your age, gender, blood type, or favorite color, the principle stays the same.

Quit worrying about it. If you have a problem and can't do anything about it, don't worry about things you can't control. If you can do something about it, why on earth are you worrying? DO IT. Do what's gotta be done in life. But whatever you do, don't worry. Worry will drag you down. It will depress you. It will deprive you of the finer things in life.

So take a deep breath. Everything is gonna be alright. It will all work out. Stay calm. Read D&C 121:7-8. Possibly Joshua 1:9. Don't worry. And have a great week :)

Oh, for heaven's sake, you know who it's from
This method of handling jugs has been passed down the Johnson line for geeeeenerations!

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