Ode to Los Solares July 13, 2015

It's transfer time and after six months, I'm OUT OF HERE!! With ELDER FLIPPIN' BARLOW!!! 

Johnson and Barlow

In commemoration of the event, I did what any sane soul would do; I wrote a poem about it. Enjoy :)

Ode to Los Solares (a poem)

by Elder Dallin Johnson

O Los Solares! My foxy, fickle friend!

With mixed emotions, we reach our long-awaited end.

You wanna know how I got this haircut?

You took my hair, my dignity,

But still I'll say, "Not you, it's me."

That much is obvious; you can't go.

You're an inanimate location, you curmudgeonly dope!

Don't. Say. A word.

Although we weathered much, you and me

We passed through things together, the perfect team.

Through thick and thin, through song and dance,

And on one occasion, nearly soiled pants.

We frolicked and baptized drinkers of Scotch.

We laughed and we cried. Well, you cried--I watched.

With friends and small children, and roaches besides,

The last, I assure you, was fully despised. 

But now I'm off to Los Mameyes,

A grassy land where calm bachata plays.

A land where dreams and leprechauns

Can don their kilts and dance 'til dawn.

What? What was that, eh?

Kilts are for Scots, you say?

The nether breeze is not for the Emerald Isle?

You wanna bet? You make me smile!

Who cares about kilts or leprechauns?

The point is, Los Mameyes is the bomb.

So off I go, it's time at last, 

As always,

Elder Dallin Johnson

Shorn, but undefeated